My Reconciliation

Bonjour!

I feel damn good. Been dog sitting a beautiful young lady called Willow. This little venture wasn’t meant to be actual time off from work, but with how everything has happened with the move, it’s worked out that way.

Spending the week in a different place has been amazing for me, and the weather has helped too. I’ve actually had a chance to decompress and just relax. It’s been a long time coming. I know most of you have seen Willow on Instagram, and she’s a diamond. I’ve already signed up for next year to dog-sit!

As for the new job, I work at a stunning place in Shoreham, Kent. Added bonus is one of my best friends is head chef. We did a menu revamp recently with some new style dishes, and safe to say, it’s buzzing! Getting Covid a couple of weeks ago threatened to derail the progress, but back on track and swinging at this opportunity. It’s reignited my love for food.

I recommend you all come and eat!

I mentioned in my last blog that there was some one year anniversaries coming up that threatened to derail me… and fuck me they tried. Fortunately, my PTSD therapist has notes of these, so gave me a courtesy call to see how I was getting on. I said I felt guilty for letting the rage get to me, and they asked ‘Why?’. Why did I feel guilty for being angry at the pain I’ve been caused? I shouldn’t be. Instead, they gave me some sound advice. Cut off the disease. I’ll live without it. I’ll succeed without it. And it’s true. There was never any second thoughts or regards for me during these events that mark the anniversaries. Only humiliation. Only lies. Only betrayal.

It altered me. I had no faith in myself anymore.

And that’s what has held me back from writing and creating. Living with trying to understand the disease, instead of discarding it like it so very easily did to me.

I don’t need it around to see what it’s done, or if I recover. I will recover, and it’ll never be here again to see what I do with my life.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen… is my reconciliation.

Not forgiving the disease, but forgiving myself for letting it infect me.

This has helped me finish Well-Being Roulette too. The final two songs being posted at this time, one more violent than the other… Fuck it. I’ve got a lot to let out about my life, and a lot of people on a list.

Anyway, my office furniture arrives next week. The flat should be kitted out, and you’ll get a tour soon.

I’m. Fucking. Back!

I’ll leave you with this quote:

“Fuck your paella. Fuck your sushi. We Brits know how to cook fish. It’s not our fault you foreigners can’t appreciate simple food because your tastebuds are run through like an onlyfans e-thot, due to all the spices used to cover up the taste of your shitty, rancid meat. We didn’t invade countries for their spices, we invaded them because we fucking could- rule Britannia!’ - Count Dankula.

Whoever you are. Wherever you are.

Thank you for reading.

Daniel ❤️